She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize