I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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