I'm so fucking centered right now
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
