I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
