If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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