i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
