taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
