We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
