Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just tell him i said nine months
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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