im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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