What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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