Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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