I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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