yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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