He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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