she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
