we're blogging at a bar
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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