summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
