You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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