he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
