That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize