he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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