I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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