Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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