Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
