I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There r osticjed everywhere
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
