I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
