Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
