remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
