DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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