and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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