i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize