I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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