Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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