OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
