where am i from again
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
