Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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