My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
