singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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