She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
