yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
