he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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