my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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