and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My bed smells like the plague
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
