Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
