We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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