seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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