whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
