Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
