there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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