do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
