it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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