i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
