Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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