I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
