He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
