My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
