i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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