i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
