you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
