Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
soo... how was my night?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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