The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Four minutes until I can fart!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize