Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
