Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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