The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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