you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
