from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
