Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
