I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize