I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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