I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
