just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
